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How to be Committed and Honor Your No


Recently I’ve been invited to take a gentle but forceful look at how committed I am. I found I am over-committed everywhere. Not quite what you were thinking?

Let me explain….

I am a YES person.

I love to say YES. People pleaser is the former name for this, well its evolved. I have always desired to suck the marrow out of life and living. Carpe diem. I want to do and have it all, so I say YES to the many opportunities that surround me daily.

I think my brain tricked me into I have tons of residual childhood and teenager years of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) to make up for.

This has been recently coming to bite me in the ass. Literally. I felt it devour me and I am VERY aware now.

You can want it all but you don’t need it all. In fact, it is essential that you not have it all or you’ll explode. I have an insatiable hunger for life that I am sure many of you can identify with. Its why I became a nomad. Why live in one place, when I can travel everywhere and run my business location independent? This unfortunately got translated in my head to ‘Lynan can be anywhere and everywhere all of the time. I’m just a plane flight away.”

I was wrong. I can be satiated if I am just here for whatever magic is here.

Personally my body can’t and doesn’t want to be present physically energetically to all the ‘commitments’ I began making. Especially those involving plane flights every month.

Please don’t be confused, I live and believe in a world of endless possibilities. I believe anything is possible in a moment if you choose it, fully, completely, with all of you. But I got drunk on this powerful choice. I chose it all. Now I choose differently. I choose my happiness.

I am now – centering. Taking a long compassionate look at my ‘commitments’ and some were not aligned with the big pictures and my reality as it unfolds. Some I made while contracted, in a place of stress, feeling small or less than and when I was carrying upset or fear in me. Others just because I wanted to say YES for someone else, instead of taking the wise look inside to see what I needed. Some commitments came out of FOMO, I am learning ‪#‎nofomo‬ is the way to go. I am never missing out if I am in the present moment of my life. I choose every single moment and I am exactly where I want to be.

The same is true for you.

Every single moment you are in, is your perfect choice.

You wanted to be there so much, that you got there.

Woman saying No with her hand

This process is a real test of self-love. No judging myself for that hunger. It is why I am so successful in business and why I have amazing friends around the world. I go after what I want with the whole passion of my heart.

But I am learning, bit by bit, how much MORE powerful I am when I say No. When I say it with kindness, that I just don’t know how the next few months will unfolded and I am cannot make a commitment at this time.

I am honoring my OWN No now.

I have been skilled at creating powerful space for others to say No. But now is my turn.

Are you challenged by commitments? Do you say YES to more than you can physically, emotionally and spiritually take? How do you honor and love your OWN No? Share your experience below, whether its in life, business or both.

I just took off the training wheels but it feels good. I am getting the hang of this. Its new shaky ground but I am saying YES to it for the grounded self-care reasons. I think its a new habit, I’ll keep with me as I evolve forward

Lynan Saperstein

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