Holding myself to a standard of GRACE
not perfection.

I would like to tell you a story.

Yesterday, I hurt myself while walking in a parking lot.
I FELL ON A FLAT SURFACE.
LIKE JUST BAILED.
There were no bumps, I was wearing great shoes and I fell on my face.
My leg locked and just tipped over.

Yesterday, I left my passport in our Airbnb apartment and
didn’t realize until we were 45 minutes away
about to get out of our car to board an an OVERNIGHT BOAT.
This added an hour and a half crazy car ride to the day.

Today, I was sore and tired
and I wasn’t the expert navigator I normally am
and accidentally deleted the email on my phone
with our apartment address and phone number.
I couldn’t find us on the map and I panicked thinking we were super lost.

I MAKE BIG FAT MISTAKES.
I FREAK OUT WHEN I’M NOT PHYSICALLY WELL.
I HAVE OLD PATTERNS.
I AM NOT PERFECT.
I NEVER WILL BE, BUT IT IS ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO LIVE A GRACEFUL LIFE.

I wanted to berate myself. I wanted to be yelled at and punished.
I saw my childhood and past relationships flash before my eyes.
I wish I was perfect and the obsessive thought circle showed up
READY TO PLAY on full blast.
But I’m not sticky anymore.
I am not an ideal host for those THOUGHTS to grow.
They fell away and I was astonished.
It felt EASY and GOOD to be me
in those funky ass moments.

I am traveling with the patient and loving Amberly Miller
who loves me and knows I didn’t do this stuff on purpose
that it’s what was happening,
and sometimes SHIT HAPPENS.

I spent time noticing my reactions.
And honoring space where I was actually
DISTRACTED and UPSET
thus doing this stuff to get my own attention.

Your inner workings are intricate and PERFECT and strive for GRACEFUL LIVING.
They LOVE BALANCE.
And they’ll send you messages to ALIGN
to REGROUP
to REFOCUS
and to GET HERE
back to the present moment so you can experience peaceful living.

I have a lot on my mind.
NEW WEBSITE,
Trailblazer’s Retreat,
Details, details, LOGISTICS
Client leads
Clients
Travel plans
Arrivals/Depatures
Money
Family
Love
My body
My well-being
But none of that is worth losing this MOMENT.
I am NOT PERFECT.
I might do all of this again.
I might not because I am seeing all of this clearly
and giving it space
I honor my process, my unfolding, my way of being
WHEREVER it is.

Perfection is not the goal. Being ALIVE is.
I am alive and HAPPY.
AND SO DAMN BLESSED.

One response to “How to Hold Your Self to the Standard of Grace NOT Perfection”

1. natalia says:

   June 2, 2014 at 7:18 pm

   Oh god what a beautiful summary of the approach we all should take:) good job, thanks for this